WRITING A SPORTS ESSAY   Leave a comment


Who among us hasn’t gotten the claustrophobic, lung-burning smell of cheap anti-perspirant in the dressing room? Who hasn’t had their nostrils invaded by the steaming, sweaty smell of mildewed jerseys as they stew away in the corner? Who hasn’t marked an opponent who left a vapour trail of afterburn behind him as he raced for the goal? Apparently, our students haven’t! Every time I assign a sports essay, the start, beginning and the end are the same. It’s like that Latin quote: “veni, vidi, vici” (we came, we saw, we conquered).

It never ceases to amaze me how similar the sports essays have been from a multitude of different students. Sometimes I ask with genuine bafflement: “Do you ever lose?” The answer to that is the same also: “What kind of story are you asking us to write?” In an attempt to combat this and provide VARIETY in the sports essay, I will provide a template for ideas that may inspire some creativity. It is not an end in itself, but it might help.

LEVEL 1                LEVEL 2                LEVEL 3                           LEVEL 4                 LEVEL 5

                                                 DEMONISING YOUR OPPONENT:

cave trolls from a fable filed-down fangs beady, glinting eyes ghouls from a horror movie serial killer mentality
knuckles scraping the ground broken-glass teeth bulbous, bulging eyes monsters from a gore-fest dead-fish eyes

                                                         STORMY METAPHORS:

a tornado of sound a blizzard of scores a cyclone of sound a geyser of anger a tsunami of noise
a hurricane of passion a whirlpool of rage a volcano of noise a tempest of tackles a vortex of emotions


                                                     CREATING ATMOSPHERE:

bangers exploded fireworks whizzed firecrackers detonated rockets whooshed thunderflashes blinded us
crackers popped flares sizzled sparklers sizzed squibs hissed drums like the roll of doom


                                       THE CROWD GO SILENT:

convent quiet tomb quiet vault silent catacomb silent sacristy silent
cathedral quiet vow quiet vigil silent cenotaph silent amniotic silent

                                        LOSING THE GAME (YES-LOSING!):

cut to pieces ants walking in treacle lambs against ravenous wolves mangled and mutilated garrotted and gelded
cut to ribbons shredded like tissue paper powder-puff defending ground down like bruxism eviscerated and euthanised




For much more of the above, please check out my book Writing with Stardust which is now on Amazon.com and Amazon.co.uk. You can also click on any of the book images underneath.












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